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• My only books Were woman's looks,-- And folly 's all they 've taught me.
  -- Thomas Moore (1779-1852) -- The Time I 've lost in wooing...
• Wow, some lady walked into my room, picked me up, and put her breast in my mouth.
  I liked it! -- A baby boys first tangeable though...
• I ran into my ex the other day, then I put the car in reverse and ran over him again.
• When I 'm not thank'd at all, I 'm thank'd enough; I 've done my duty, and I 've done no more.
  -- Henry Fielding (1707-1754) -- Tom Thumb the Great, Act i, Sc. 3...
• Homer's new German boss wants to chat with him. Ho
  Homer, could ve have a word with you? Homer: No. Ho...
• Horst: Homer, could ve have a word with you? Home
  No. Horst: I must have phrased that badly. My English is, how you say, inelegant....
• Speak roughly to your little VAX, And boot it when it crashe
  It knows that one cannot relax Because the paging thrashes!...