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• Kent: And how long have you been on the streets? Ba
  Going on five years, Kent. Kent: Ah. Son, your family might be watching....
• If at first you don't succeed, try second, third or shortstop.
• Kent: Hey, that is one fine looking animal you got there.
  Homer: Wow. TV's Kent Brockman! [shakes Kent's hand] Ke...
• Kent: Mr. Simpson, how do you respond to the charges that petty vandalism such as graffiti is down eighty percent, while heavy sack-beatings are up a shocking nine hundred percent?
  Homer: Aw, people can come up with statistics to prove anything, Kent....
• Kent: Well, what do you say to the accusation that your group has been causing more crimes than it's been preventing?
  Homer: Oh, Kent, I'd be lying if I said my men weren't committing crimes....
• I'm GREAT at immaturity. I've been practicing for decades.
• Kent: Tonight, on Eyewitness News: a man who's been in a coma for 23 years wakes up.
  Man: Do Sonny and Cher still have that _stupid_ show?...
• Kent: Hardest hit by the blizzard is Springfield's forbidding Widow's Peak.
  Our own Arnie Pie is on the scene. Arnie: [live remote, in a helicopter] Everything's snowed in!...
• Tonight, we salute the silver anniversary of the Great Springfield Tire Yard Fire.
  Twenty-five years, and still burning strong!...