Related:

• Winny and I lived in a house that ran on static electricity.
  .. If you wanted to run the blender, you had to rub balloons on your head....
• If you had a million Shakespeares, could they write like a monkey? -- Steven Wrigh
• If I wanted your opinion, I'd take you off my Twit List.
• Joey: When I was little, I wanted to be a veteranarian, but then I found out you had to put your hands into cows and stuff.
  Excerpt from the TV Show "Friend...
• If God had wanted you to go around nude, He would have given you bigger hands.
• If Starfleet Command had wanted you to have a life, we would have issued you one