Related:

• I never lecture, not because I am shy or a bad speaker, but simply because I detest the sort of people who go to lectures and don't want to meet them.
  -- H. L. Mencke...
• There are things worse than a public speaker with a three word thought, a three minute vocabulary and a three hour speech, but I have not been able to think of any over the last three days.
• Speaker to Teletype
• At all banquets and public functions involving food and talk
  an expert is employed to place the microphone too low for tall people, too high for short people and just enough distance from where the speaker will be so that a good solid hum will occur....
• Homer [beginning a speech]: If I could just say a few words.
  .. I'd be a better public speaker. Episode: 3F20, Much Apu About Nothing...
• If I could just say a few words... I'd be a better public speaker.
  -- Homer J. Simpson, "Much Apu About Nothing...
• Kent: And, like Icarus, the rocket foolishly soared too high, and lost control of its servo guidance mechanism, leaving us with some.
  ..[checks watch] six hours to live. So, let's go live now to the charred remains of the only bridge out of town with Arnie Pie and Arnie in the Sky!...
• Some mistakes we must carry with us. -- Speaker-to-Animals "Ringworld
• The speaker rose to speak after dinner and said " You have given your attention to a turkey stuffed with sage, and now you are asked to give your attention to a sage stuffed with turkey.