Related:

• Mommy, why is the goalie so pale? "Shut up and shoot the puck!
• When I get bored I go to a Seven-Eleven and ask for a two-by-four and a box of three-by-fives.
  -- Rod Schmid...
• When I was in boy scouts, I slipped on the ice and hurt my ankle.
  A little old lady had to help me across the street. -- Rod Schmid...
• Wrote my own communications software in LISP. Got a phone bill for a thousand dollars.
  My computer keeps calling itself. -- Rod Schmid...
• Goalie for the dart team.
• If ours is a man made world, why can't we remake it?
• Sumo Wrestling: survival of the fattest.
• Kent: We'll watch Springfield's oldest man meet Springfield's fattest man.
  [caption reads, "Opposites attract?"] Homer: He's not so fat....
• Become a programmer and never see the world!