Related:

• It is not going to be a good day when you ask the mechanic for an estimate and he says he has to go inside for a larger calculator.
• It is not a good omen when goldfish commit suicide.
• I had fried octopus last night. You have to be really quiet when you eat it.
  Otherwise, it emits a cloud of black smoke and falls on the floor. -- Steven Wrigh...
• It is not a good omen when the person of your dreams whom you have just met says "Don't go away, I like being alone.
• You shouldn't drink and drive. If you get drunk, don't call a cab.
  That could cost you twenty dollars or forty dollars or fifty dollars....
• There will always be beer cans rolling on the floor of your car when the boss asks for a lift home from the office.
• There will always be beer cans rolling on the floor of your car when the boss asks for a lift home from office.
• When I have a kid, I want to buy a twin-stroller and put him in one side, and then reply when he's old enough to ask "You had a brother, but he was bad.