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• You know, I've done a lot of bad stuff through the years.
  I guess now I'm paying the price. But there's so many things I'll never get a chance to do....
• The older I get, the smarter my parents were. -- Mark Twain (1835-1910)
• Blue Screen of Death n. [common] This term is closely related to the older Black Screen of Death but much more common (many non-hackers have picked it up).
  Due to the extreme fragility and bugginess of Microsoft Windows (3....
• Lisa: Don't be so hard on yourself, Bart. It's not your fault Jessica doesn't like you.
  Bart: Is it my hair? My overbite? The fact that I've worn the same clothes day in, day out for the last four years?...
• I am writing to the welfare department to say that my baby was born two years old.
  When do I get my money?...
• Ned: [notes Marge squeezing a grapefruit] Marge Simpson!
  Still making juice the old-fashioned way? [actually, Marge is squeezing it on Lisa's hair] Lisa...
• Homer: [out of breath] Here's your package, Mr. Burns.
  Burns: [sputters] My name is the return address, you senseless dunderpate....
• My doctor recently told me that jogging could add years to my life.
  I think he was right. I feel ten years older already. -- Milton Berlele...
• The older I get, the better I used to be.