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• The capitalist system is the best, 'cause we can go somewhere else.
  Communism is one big phone company. -- Lenny Bruce...
• The liberal says to you, "I'm so understanding, I can't understand anyone not understanding me, as understanding as I am.
  -- Lenny Bruce...
• AND NOW A WORD FROM THE PENTAGON To all those sissy wimps who don't want a war - remember what we're talking about here!
  What about all the oil we won't be able to pollute the atmosphere with if we don't liberate Kuwait?...
• Kirk: "Some people are afraid...of what might happen.
  I was terrified." McCoy: "What terrified you, specifically?...
• Comedy = Tragedy + Distance -- Lenny Bruce
• If all the people in China stood up on chairs, and, at the same moment, jumped down on the ground, we would be in deep, deep trouble.
• I never thought of killing myself, never, but if I did I'd want to be unique.
  Headline: "Sick comic succumbs, swallows 650 dexamine spansules....
• Every day, people are straying away from the church and going back to God. -- Lenny Bruce