Related:

• Won't Somebody Please Think Of The Microsoft Shareholder's Children?
  The Evil Monopoly will soon be a duopoly of MICROS~1 and MICROS~2 now that Judge Jackson has made his ruling....
• My grandfather gave me a watch. It doesn't have any hands or numbers.
  He says it's very accurate. I asked him what time it was....
• A manager went to the master programmer and showed him the requirements document for a new application.
  The manager asked the master: "How long will it take to design this system if I assign five programmers to it?...
• Voice 1: Gee, Dave, what do you feel like doing tonight?
  Voice 2: Same thing we do every night, Rob... Try to take over the world!...
• Chloe: [seeing Ross enter] Hey, it's the dinosaur guy.
  [runs over to Ross] Hi, Ross. Ross: Oh, hi Chloe....
• DNA guy: Ooh, nice eyelash. Yours? Wiggum: No. We need to find out who it belonged to.
  We want a DNA test. DNA guy: Ooh, ooh, ee, ooh, ooh, that takes, uh, eight to ten weeks....
• A manager went to the master programmer and showed him the requirements document for a new application.
  The manager asked the master: "How long will it take to design this system if I assign five programmers to it?...
• You know what we can be like: See a guy and think he's cute one minute, the next minute our brains have us married with kids, the following minute we see him having an extramarital affair.
  By the time someone says "I'd like you to meet Cecil," we shout, "You're late again with the child support!...
• Well, anyway, I was reading this James Bond book, and right away I realized that like most books, it had too many words.
  The plot was the same one that all James Bond books have...