Related:

• Want to call Geraldo Rivera. He has an 800 number! Simply dial 1-800-TRASH-TV
• If you wanna complain about my attitude dial 1 (800) EAT-SH*T.
• The Internal Revenue Service has a new "800" number, 1-800-NO MERCY!
• How many socialists -- does it take to change a light bulb?
  One to petition the Ministry of Light for a bulb, fifty to establish the state production quota, two hundred militia to force the factory unions to allow production of the bulb, and one to surreptitiously dial an '800' number to order an American light bulb....
• I think all cars should have car phones in 'em and their license plates should be their phone number.
  So you can call 'em up and tell 'em to get the hell out of the way....
• Ollie North: "They convicted me on shredded evidence!
• May your lucky rabbit's foot be attached to an 800 lb. rabbit.
• You may be redneck... if you have the taxidermist's number on speed-dial.