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• Your friendly neighborhood Atheist.
• You can't put your VISA bill on your American Express card. -- P. J. O'Rourke
• Your Friendly Neighborhood System Administrato
• Got a dictionary? I want to know the meaning of life.
• OK, you want to call the Vice President, Dial 1-800-DAN WHO?
• Be American, Buy American - and CHARGE IT!
• Homer: Wait, I know: [types] vent gas. [reads screen] "Pressure too high?
  "Tank must be shut down manually?" [to drinking bird] Oh, stupid bird!...
• ALL USERS PLEASE NOTE ======================== Bug reports now amount to an average of 12,853 per day.
  Unfortunately, this is only a small fraction [ &l...
• The last rush-hour express bus to your neighborhood leaves five minutes before you get off work.
  -- John Corcora...