Related:

• VOLUNTARY Descriptive of an action which you are doing purely because you have been embarrassed into it.
  -- Daniel Bowen's TOXIC CUSTARPEDIA...
• TRIANGLE Three-sided object which, even in isosceles form, begins to get very boring after only a short time.
  For maximum excitement, an object with many more sides should be considered....
• REAP Formerly used in descriptions of agriculture, "reap" is now almost exclusively found in bad retail advertising campaigns, eg "We've cut prices so you reap the benefits!
  houted by manic announcers over footage of crazed shoppers smashing in doors....
• BIBLE A bible is a book which one or more religions consider to be holy, and to be something that they should follow.
  It is of course generally rather impractical to follow books, not just because they don't often go anywhere, but also because they are not very good at public speaking, decision making, problem solving, or any of the other qualities recognised as being an advantage for leadership....
• SAND Small grains of rock, which turn up everywhere for weeks after you've been to the beach.
  -- Daniel Bowen's TOXIC CUSTARPEDIA...
• INCOMPETENCE A politer word for stupidity. If you are accused of incompetence, just remember, it is far better to be incompetent than incontinent (see below).
  -- Daniel Bowen's TOXIC CUSTARPEDIA...
• VANQUISH A word most commonly used in solemn ceremonies, usually of the form "Behold the devil, I now vanquish thee" in weird religious ceremonies or bad fantasy books.
  The amusing thing being that the speaker is generally of the mistaken belief that the use of a little Olde English will result in the demise of Satan for all eternity....
• TUSSOCK Word only used in novels about farms in out of the way places.
  -- Daniel Bowen's TOXIC CUSTARPEDIA...