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• A woman was married to a golfer. One day she asked, "If I were to die, would you remarry?
  After some thought, the man replied, "Yes, I've been very happy in this marriage and I would want to be this happy again....
• A help wanted add for a photo journalist asked the rhetorical questio
  If you found yourself in a situation where you could either save a drowning man, or you could take a Pulitzer prize winning photograph of him drowning, what shutter speed and setting would you use?...
• Going into a church in Havana, a poor woman paused by a cross and kissed the feet of Jesus.
  Tell me," asked a soldier, "would you kiss the feet of your great leader Castro as well?...
• The soldier came knocking upon the queen's door He said, "I am not fighting for you anymore" The queen knew she had seen his face someplace before And slowly she let him inside.
  He said, "I see you now, and you're so very young But I've seen more battles lost than I have battles won And I have this intuition that it's all for your fun And now will you tell me why?...
• Why ask why? Drink until you die.
• No man would listen to you talk if he didn't know it was his turn next. -- E. W. Howe
• In the begining, God created the Earth and he said, "Let there be mud.
  And there was mud. And God said, "Let Us make living creatures out of mud, so the mud can see what we have done....
• Director: Your brother could be anywhere. Even ..
  . Detroit. Homer: I know he could be <anywhere>, that's why I want you to narrow it down!...