Related:

• This is Jim Rockford. At the tone leave your name and message; I'll get back to you.
• Annoying flute music in background:) Good day, Jim.
  Your contact, Linda, is not available right now....
• I don't exist at the moment, but if you leave your message, name and number, I'll call you back when I am.
  .. (or) I'm only here in spirit at the moment, but if you'll leave your name and number, I will get back to you as soon as I'm here in person....
• Hello, this is Jim. Unfortunately I can't answer the phone right now because I've just come back from the Mirror Worlds and I'm still made up of antimatte
  o if I were to pick up the phone right now, the resulting energy release would make Hiroshima look like a wet firecracker....
• After the tone, leave your name, number, and tell where you left the money.
  I'll get back to you as soon as it's safe for you to come out of hiding....
• Answering machine message "Thank you for calling the [insert city name here] Opera Auditioning Hotline!
  At the tone, sing one of your favorite pieces, and leave a short message containing your name and phone number....
• Answering machine message "Thank you for calling the United States War Department.
  At the tone, please leave your name, phone number, and a brief message with the name of the country you wish to invade....
• If I Only Had A Brain":) I might be in the shower, I might be gone for hours, I can't come to the phone.
  So, please leave your name and number, If I miss you it'd be a bummer, Leave your message at the tone....
• Hello, this is David. I don't live here, so if you were trying to call me, you've dialed the wrong number.
  On the other hand, if you were trying to call John, Jim, or Eric, please leave your name and number at the tone....