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• They're firing, sir!! They're firing!!! ...Thank you, Lieutenant.
  If thy hit _me_, you'll be sure to point it out, won't you. -- George and Edmund : Captain Cook...
• Neither we nor the Hun favour fighting our battles 'au naturelle' But sir, it's artistic, it's.
  ..willing suspension of disbelief. Well, I'm not having anyone staring in disbelief at _my_ willy suspension....
• Tally ho, pip-pip, and Bernard's your Uncle...! ...
  In English we say, 'Good morning'... -- George and Edmund : Captain Cook...
• You're the worst cook in the entire _world_. There are.
  ..amoeba on Saturn who could boil a better egg then you... -- Edmund to Baldrick : Captain Cook...
• The wimple suits you, Baldrick. But...it completely covers my face.
  .. Exactly... -- Edmund and Baldrick : Captain Cook...
• My mother...will be as pleased as Punch. Mmmm...if only she we're as _good-looking_ as Punch, Baldrick.
  .. -- Baldrick and Edmund : Captain Cook...
• Oh, come, come, sir - now, you can't deny that this newspaper is good for the morale of the men?
  Certainly not. I just feel more could be achieved by giving them some _real_ toilet paper....
• Private Baldrick here is obviously a bit of an impressionist.
  ...The only decent impression _he_ can do is of a man with no talent....
• Take a look at this - I'm sure you know it. 'King and Country'.
  Ah yes...without doubt my _favourite_ magazine. Soft, strong....