Related:

• An egg has the shortest sex-life of all: if gets laid once
  it gets eaten once. It also has to come in a box with 11 others, and the only person who will sit on its face is its mother....
• A moment is a lifetime.....but only for a moment.
• Santa only comes once a year, too bad for him.
• A man is already halfway in love with any woman who listens to him. -- Brendan Franci
• What an author likes to write most is his signature on the back of a cheque. -- Brendan Franci
• The world is a madhouse, so it's only right it's patrolled by armed idiots. -- Brendan Beha
• The most egotistical person we've ever heard of is the one who remarked that he had only been wrong once in his life and that was when he thought he was wrong but wasn't.
• If of all words of tongue and pen, The saddest are, `It might have been,' More sad are these we daily see
  `It is, but hadn't ought to be.' -- Francis Brett Harte...