Related:

• A flashlight is basically a tin can for transporting dead batteries. -- Walt Mooney
• You may be redneck... if your flashlight holds more then four batteries.
• There is a massive vending machine here. The instructions on it read
  Drop coins here to receive fresh batteries....
• The best way to get rid of bad vibes, insists a self-reliant girl we know, is to put in fresh batteries.
• Batteries not included.
• Be entirely tolerant or not at all; follow the good path or the evil one.
  To stand at the crossroads requires more strength than you possess....
• Not even with BOTH hands AND a flashlight!
• Long-life batteries aren't.
• What do batteries run on?