Related:

• A certain monk had a habit of pestering the Grand Tortue (the only one who had ever reached the Enlightenment 'Yond Enlightenment), by asking whether various objects had Buddha-nature or not.
  To such a question Tortue invariably sat silent....
• The last time I saw him he was walking down Lover's Lane holding his own hand. -- Fred Alle
• My friend complained to the city about the scales they put out on the side walks.
  He doesn't mind that the thing takes a dime and says he only weighs thirty pounds, but he would appreciate it greatly if they would fix those things so he could get his fortune card and be on his way....
• When I get through making Benny eat his words he'll think he's been on a diet of dry alphabet soup.
  -- Fred Allened Alle...
• An associate producer is the only guy in Hollywood who will associate with a producer.
  -- Fred Alle...
• Man has made his bedlam; let him lie in it. -- Fred Alle
• A gentleman never strikes a lady with his hat on. -- Fred Alle
• My uncle is a Southern planter. He's an undertaker in Alabama. -- Fred Alle