Related:

• If only my computer could cook...
• The Macintosh is like a computer, only slower.
• Then the first thing will be to establish a censorship of the writers of fiction, and let the censors receive any tale of fiction which is good, and reject the bad
  and we will desire mothers and nurses to tell their children the authorized ones only....
• Marriage is a triumph of habit over hate. -- Oscar Levant, "The Portable Curmudgeo
• No honey, it's only a computer, PLEASE put down the gun..
• The only thing faster than the computer is the weekend.
• You have reached 843-4734. Please hold while I process your call.
  (Pause.) Our extremely sophisticated computer system performed a trace on your number and was able to match it with our list of important callers....
• What a COINCIDENCE! I'm an authorized ``SNOOTS OF THE STARS'' dealer!! -- Zippy the Pinhead