Related:

• Joey: (to Monica) Hey, how much will you give me to eat this whole jar of olives?
  Monica: I won't give you anything, but you'll owe me 2....
• Can be outwitted by a jar of Marshmallow Fluff.
• Can't open /usr/fortunes. Lid stuck on cookie jar.
• Marge: Selma! You're back from your date already? Selma
  Yeah. I was so upset I ate a jar of expired olives....
• A book is a present you can open again and again.
• Don't open your eyes, you won't like what you see; the devils of truth steal the souls of the free.
  .. don't open your eyes, take it from me. I have found you can find happiness in slavery......
• Sideshow Bob: Krusty, can you ever forgive me for framing you and putting you in jail?
  Krusty: Hey, if they ever open the books on this telethon, I'm right back in there!...
• Sir -- a couple of brief points. Firstly, you're not a qualified service engineer, and consequently, sawing me in two will invalidate my guarantee.
  Secondly, I wouldn't trust you to open a sardine can that was already open....
• You can open a cucumber using only your teeth. -- Cucumbers are Bette