Related:

• The person who buys the most raffle tickets has the least chance of winning.
  -- Dr. R. F. Gumperso...
• Good parking places are always on the other side of the street. -- Dr. R. F. Gumperso
• After a raise in salary you will have less money at the end of each month than you had before.
  -- Dr. R. F. Gumperso...
• Children have more energy after a hard day of play than they do after a good night's sleep.
  -- Dr. R. F. Gumperso...
• Take rather than give the tone to the company you are in.
  If you gave parts you will show them more or less upon every subjec...
• Wizards are constantly subject to negative publicity.
  A case in point. One elderly wizard of my acquaintance, whenever he was bothered by unexpected guests, would immediately cast one of three spells upon them, either turning them to stone, transforming them into segmented worms, or blasting them entirely out of the kingdom....
• Empedocles says that the greater part of the members of animals were generated by chance.
  .. What, then, hinders but that the parts in Nature may also thus arise [from necessity]?...
• I was saying, continued the Rocket, I was saying - What was I saying?
  You were talking about yourself, replied the Roman Candle....
• I'm getting better but I forgot the subject!!