Related:

• Cafeteria Law: The item you had your eye on the minute you walked in will be taken by the person in front of you.
• The "CONSUMER REPORT" on the item will come out a week after you buy the item. -- Beryl's Law
• You know you've been sitting in front of your Lisp machine too long when you go out to the junk food machine and start wondering how to make it give you the CADR of Item H so you can get that yummie chocolate cupcake that's stuck behind the disgusting vanilla one.
• Beryl's Law: The "Consumer Report" on the item will come out a week after you've made your purchase.
  Corollaries: 1. The one you bought will be rated "unacceptable"....
• Being a doormat gets you walked on.
• If a person deceives you once, shame on that person.
  If a person deceives you twice, shame on you! For of all hard things to bear and grin, the hardest is being taken in....
• If your behind is in front, you turned around!
• You must dine in our cafeteria. You can eat dirt cheap there!!!!
• Paulg's Law: In America, it's not how much an item costs, it's how much you save.