Related:

• ORAL CONTRACEPTIVE: The word "No".
• The best contraceptive is a glass of cold water: not before or after, but instead.
• He was an angry man, Uncle Swanny. He had printed on his grave
  What are you lookin' at?" -- Margaret Smith...
• I can't get a relationship to last longer than it takes to tape their albums. -- Margaret Smith
• I've been sort of crabby lately. It's that time of the month again--the rent's due.
  -- Margaret Smith...
• CONTRACEPTIVE JELLY -- antipersonnel balm.
• I hate singles bars. Guys come up to me and say, "Hey, cupcake, can I buy you a drink?
  I say, "No, but I'll take the three bucks." -- Margaret Smith...
• I say stay away from the miserable people, because misery does love company.
  Just look at a fly strip. You never see a fly stuck there saying, "Go around!...
• Try Quisinwrite, the combination word processor and food processor, for those who frequently have to eat their words.