Related:

• These two strings walk into a bar and sits down. The bartender says, "So what'll it be?
  The first string says, "I think I'll have a beer quaqg fulk boorg jdk^Cjf dLkjk3s d#f67howe%^U r89nvyowmc63^Dz x....
• Sorry about the language Mr/Miss Moderator - but he is! :-)
• Bart: How would I go about creating a half-man, half-monkey-type creature?
  Ms.K: I'm sorry, that would be playing God. Bart: God shmod!...
• You will be Terminated!
• Homer: I want everyone to know that this is Ned Flanders .
  .. my friend! Lenny: What'd he say? Carl: I dunno....
• Kirk: "What about Mister Spock?" Kor: "You are concerned?
  Kirk: "He is my friend." Kor: "You have a poor choice of friends....
• My friend complained to the city about the scales they put out on the side walks.
  He doesn't mind that the thing takes a dime and says he only weighs thirty pounds, but he would appreciate it greatly if they would fix those things so he could get his fortune card and be on his way....
• Don't disturb my friend - he's dead tired. -- Commando
• My crazy friend composes music in bed. He calls it sheet music.