Related:

• Some performers on television appear to be horrible people, but when you finally get to know them in person, they turn out to be even worse.
  -- Avery...
• When there are two conflicting versions of a story, the wise course is to believe the one in which people appear at their worst.
  -- Avery...
• If an average person on the subway turns to you, like an ancient mariner, and starts telling you her tale, you turn away or nod and hope she stops, not just because you fear she might be crazy.
  If she tells her tale on camera, you might listen....
• The people around you will finally know peace and happiness... when you're dead!
• Some lovers might be real nervous, so they are glad that they finally got it out and said it and now they can go eat.
  -- What most people are thinking when they say "I love you" -- Dick, age 7...
• You know you've been hacking too long when... ...you look above the television for a title bar to find out the name of the program you are watching.
• You know it's going to be a bad day when: you turn on the news and they're displaying emergency routes out of your city.
• Doctors often prescribe medicines about which they know relatively little for diseases about which they know even a little less, in people about whom they know practically nothing.
  It is a real wonder that, under these circumstances, the patient even survives, as most of them do....