Related:

• Lots of people will not graduate this year from college, but that's alright, since none of them went to school this year.
• He who should teach men to die would at the same time teach them to live.
  -- Michael de Montaigne (1533-1592) -- Essays, Book i, Chap....
• I went to correspondence school. They threw me out from there.
  I played hooky ... I sent them an empty envelope. -- Baron Munchausen (Jack Pearl)...
• What good grammar you got. What school you went?
• I finally went to the eye doctor. I got contacts. I only need them to read, so I got flip-ups.
  -- Steven Wrigh...
• Those who can, do. Those can't, teach. Those who destroy everything they touch, become high school counselors.
• Several years ago, an international chess tournament was being held in a swank hotel in New York.
  Most of the major stars of the chess world were there, and after a grueling day of chess, the players and their entourages retired to the lobby of the hotel for a little refreshment....
• I know a girl who broke every date she had--she went out with them. -- Bob Melvi
• A modification of the Delta motto we used after a Delta flight crashed on approach at the Dallas-Fort Worth International Airpo
  Delta---We almost got you there...