Related:

• Where do your SOCKS go when you lose them in th' WASHER? -- Zippy the Pinhead
• Cats are pretty cool - you can kill them nine times.
• Apu: I can't lie to myself, you know. I _do_ miss my Kwik-E-Mart.
  Lisa: Isn't there _anything_ you can do to get your job back?...
• The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy", in a moment of reasoned lucidity which is almost unique among its current tally of five millio
  ine hundred and seventy-three thousand, five hundred and nine pages, says of the Sirius Cybernetics Corporation products that "it is very easy to be blinded to the essential uselessness of them by the sense of achievement you get from getting them to work at all....
• If people see that you mean them no harm, they'll never hurt you, nine times out of ten.
• The technology involved in making anything invisible is so infinitely complex that nine hundred and ninety-nine billio
  ine hundred and ninety-nine million, nine hundred and ninety-nine thousand, nine hundred and ninety-nine times out of a trillion it is much simpler and more effective just to take the thing away and do without it....
• DO YOU HAVE A RESTLESS URGE TO PROGRAM? *** Do you want the instant respect that comes from being able to use technical terms that nobody understands?
  Do you want to strike fear and loathing into the hearts of DP managers everywhere?...
• Bubba, Jim Bob, and Leroy were fishing out on the lake last November, and, when Bubba tipped his head back to empty the Jim Beam, he fell out of the boat into the lake.
  Jim Bob and Leroy pulled him back in, but as Bubba didn't look too good, they started up the Evinrude and headed back to the pier....