Related:

• Homer: We can't lose! Look at the name of the dog I bet on.
  Marge: "She's The Fastest"...Homer, I don't think that means necessarily -- Announce...
• My sister's asthmatic. In the middle of an asthma attack she got an obscene phone call.
  The guy said, "Did I call you or did you call me?" -- John Mendoza...
• Yo momma got so many freckles she looks like a hamburger!
• When the going seems easy, you may be going downhill.
• My kid said, "I want a dog." Well, I went to the kennel.
  The first dog I saw had legs four inches long in front, two feet long in back....
• By George I think she's got it!
• Homer: So, how's it going, Grimey? Grimes: I'd appreciate it if you'd stay out of my office, Simpson.
  Homer: [laughs] Wish I had a nickel every time I heard that....
• If you're coasting, you're going downhill. -- L. R. Pierso