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• I gave up fame and breakfast for our marriage.
  -- Homer, after tossing `General Sherman' back into the lake, "War of the Simpso...
• Some people think a horseshoe's gonna bring 'em luck.
  A horseshoe is a lucky sign of course. For every set of horseshoes human beings use for luck....
• I like having a machine called 'elvis' on the network because that way, I can say 'ping elvis' and have it come back with 'elvis is alive'.
  -- Carl Shipley...
• And here's a way to befuddle the *callee* rather than the calle
  Record someone's answering machine message as you hear it, and then play it back to them as your message to them....
• I don't want to bore you with metaphysics, but how do you know this is an answering machine?
  Maybe it's a dream, or maybe it's an illusion, or maybe YOU don't really exist....
• Homer: [pushing "Play"] Hmm, we didn't have a message when we left.
  How very odd. Machine: [singing] Hello, Muddah, hello, Faddah....
• Out at five, catch General Sherman at five-thirty, clean him at six, eat him at six-thirty, back in bed by seven with no incriminating evidence.
  Heh heh heh. The perfect crime. -- Homer Simpson The War of the Simpso...
• Drawling granny voice:) Way back inna winner of fifty-two, we didn' have fanshy gadjets like no ansherin' machine.
  You jusht had to call and call until shummbody got home....
• Homer: [fiddling with the back of the set] Is that better?
  Lisa+Bart: NOOOO! Homer: How's this? [picture gets worse] Lisa+Ba...