Related:

• RAZOR, n. An instrument used by the Caucasian to enhance his beauty, by the Mongolian to make a guy of himself, and by the Afro-American to affirm his worth.
  -- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary...
• Incumbent, n.: Person of liveliest interest to the outcumbents.
  -- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary...
• FLESH, n. The Second Person of the secular Trinity. -- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary
• INCUMBENT, n. A person of the liveliest interest to the outcumbents.
  -- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary...
• NIHILIST, n. A Russian who denies the existence of anything but Tolstoi.
  The leader of the school is Tolstoi. -- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary...
• CONGRESS, n. A body of men who meet to repeal laws. -- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary
• AFFLICTION, n. An acclimatizing process preparing the soul for another and bitter world.
  -- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary...
• MOUTH, n. In man, the gateway to the soul; in woman, the outlet of the heart.
  -- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary...