Related:

• The thought of being President fightens me and I do not think I want the job.
  -- Ronald Reagan in 1973 Reagan won because he ran against Jimmy Carter....
• He was wearing a velvet shirt open to the navel. And he didn't have one.
  Which is either a show-business gimmick or the ultimate rejection of mother. -- Mort Sahl...
• I came down from Jacksonville on a train that was the slowest train I'd ever been on.
  I said to the conductor, "Can't you run any faster?...
• Ronald Reagan is not a typical politician, because he doesn't know how to lie, cheat, and steal.
  He's always had an agent for that....
• If someone were to ask me for a short cut to sensuality, I would suggest he go shopping for a used 427 Shelby-Cobra.
  But it is only fair to warn you that of the 300 guys who switched to them in 1966, only two went back to women....
• We would have broken up except for the children. Who were the children?
  Well, she and I were. -- Mort Sahl...
• God gives burdens; also shoulders. Jimmy Carter cited this Jewish saying in his concession speech at the end of the 1980 election.
  At least he said it was a Jewish saying; I can't find it anywhere....
• I took a course at Cal once called Statistical Analysis.
  And there was a guy in the course who used to make up all his computations and he never used Sigma....
• Aggression unopposed becomes a contagious disease. 1980 -- Jimmy Carter, 39th US Preside