Related:

• Reagan won because he ran against Jimmy Carter. Had he run unopposed he would have lost.
  -- Mort Sahl...
• I took Benzedrine--I got clairvoyance. With Benzedrine you can have a very wide view of the world--like you can decide the destiny of man and other pressing problems, such as which is the left sock?
  -- Mort Sahl...
• We would have broken up except for the children. Who were the children?
  Well, she and I were. -- Mort Sahl...
• I took a course at Cal once called Statistical Analysis.
  And there was a guy in the course who used to make up all his computations and he never used Sigma....
• If someone were to ask me for a short cut to sensuality, I would suggest he go shopping for a used 427 Shelby-Cobra.
  But it is only fair to warn you that of the 300 guys who switched to them in 1966, only two went back to women....
• The thought of being President fightens me and I do not think I want the job.
  -- Ronald Reagan in 1973 Reagan won because he ran against Jimmy Carter....
• He who boasts of an open mind may only have a vacant one.
• I remember that one fateful day when Coach took me aside.
  I knew what was coming. "You don't have to tell me," I said....
• He's a tragic figure in a paisley shi