Related:

• ELOQUENCE, n. The art of orally persuading fools that white is the color that it appears to be.
  It includes the gift of making any color appear white....
• PROJECTILE, n. The final arbiter in international disputes.
  Formerly these disputes were settled by physical contact of the disputants, with such simple arguments as the rudimentary logic of the times could supply -- the sword, the spear, and so forth....
• ENCOMIAST, n. A special (but not particular) kind of liar.
  -- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary...
• PLEBISCITE, n. A popular vote to ascertain the will of the sovereign.
  -- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary...
• EJECTION, n. An approved remedy for the disease of garrulity.
  It is also much used in cases of extreme poverty. -- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary...
• PROPERTY, n. Any material thing, having no particular value, that may be held by A against the cupidity of B.
  Whatever gratifies the passion for possession in one and disappoints it in all others....
• PLOW, n. An implement that cries aloud for hands accustomed to the pen.
  -- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary...
• HAG, n. An elderly lady whom you do not happen to like
  ometimes called, also, a hen, or cat. Old witches, sorceresses, etc....
• BAAL, n. An old deity formerly much worshiped under various names.
  As Baal he was popular with the Phoenicians; as Belus or Bel he had the honor to be served by the priest Berosus, who wrote the famous account of the Deluge...