Related:

• QUILL, n. An implement of torture yielded by a goose and commonly wielded by an ass.
  This use of the quill is now obsolete, but its modern equivalent, the steel pen, is wielded by the same everlasting Presence....
• TRUCE, n. Friendship. -- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary
• ACCORD, n. Harmony. -- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary
• IMPUNITY, n. Wealth. -- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary
• MAGNIFICENT, adj. Having a grandeur or splendor superior to that to which the spectator is accustomed, as the ears of an ass, to a rabbit, or the glory of a glowworm, to a maggot.
  -- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary...
• LEARNING, n. The kind of ignorance distinguishing the studious.
  -- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary...
• Liar, n.: A lawyer with a roving commission. -- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary
• ACCORDION, n. An instrument in harmony with the sentiments of an assassin.
  -- Ambrose Bierce "The Devil's Dictionary...
• AFRICAN, n. A nigger that votes our way. -- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary