Related:

• If you keep your mouth shut you'll never put your foot in it.
• Never give an inch! When you have a foot!
• You may forget the one with whom you have laughed, but never the one with whom you have wept.
  -- Kahlil Gibra...
• If buttered toast always lands butter-side up, and a cat always lands on its feet.
  What would happen if you tied a piece of buttered toast on the back of a cat?...
• So how long have you been working at a cat house?
• A cat will go "quack" - if you squeeze it hard enough.
• So they put him in chains for acting too hard.
• Never put a spiteful cat in a clean house with healthy plants.
• If you would want to know what you would be like if you lost your mind, put a tape recorder nearby and have it running when you take your second or third drink.