Related:

• You may be redneck... if your taxidermist bill exceeds annual income.
• Rush Limbaugh: two hundred twenty pounds of sh*t in a five-pound bag.
• Homer: Yello? Oh, hi, Lenny. [Marge reacts with alarm] No, why would I need a ride this afternoon?
  [Marge begins to vacuum next to Homer. He is forced to yell....
• Semi-Annual after-Christmas Sale.
• Skinner: Now, this morning we're going to be mapping a small square of sky that's thought to be empty.
  It's my hope that it's not. Bart: So what am I supposed to do exactly?...
• How many terrorists -- does it take to change a light bulb?
  Twenty - one to do it and nineteen to develop a distraction....
• A man can sleep around, no questions asked, but if a woman makes nineteen or twenty mistakes she's a tramp.
  -- Joan Rive...
• Boston Software Party BOSTON, MA -- Thousands of disgruntled Linux revolutionaries showed up at the Boston Harbor today to protest "taxation without representation" by the oppressive Microsoft Corporation.
  Thousands of pounds of Microsoft boxes, CD-ROMs, manuals, license agreements, promotional materials, and registration forms were dumped into the harbor during the First Annual Boston Software Party....
• Annual shots will protect FIDO from Disease !