Related:

• Find a matching pair of shells that feel comfortable.
  This is harder than it seems, especially if the shells are still occupied....
• Don't settle for anything less than a Seiko Sports 100.
  -- Forty-two things to do as preparation for life as a mermaid....
• Try to appreciate sex with your knees tied together.
  (This may be slightly more challenging if you are female....
• Talk to fish. Sooner or later, they will talk back.
  -- Forty-two things to do as preparation for life as a mermaid....
• Accuse fun-run organisers of discrimination. -- Forty-two things to do as preparation for life as a mermaid.
• Act like a cartoon character. Most of your companions will be.
  -- Forty-two things to do as preparation for life as a mermaid....
• Buy your chiropodist a farewell present. -- Forty-two things to do as preparation for life as a mermaid.
• Discover that you *can* eat seaweed. -- Forty-two things to do as preparation for life as a mermaid.
• Donate your shoe collection to Imelda Marcos. -- Forty-two things to do as preparation for life as a mermaid.