Related:

• Sometimes you have to be careful when selecting a new nickname for yourself.
  For instance, let's say you have chosen the nickname "Fly Head"....
• There should be a detective show called "Johnny Monkey
  because every week you could have a guy say "I ain't gonna get caught by no MONKEY," but then he would, and I don't think I'd ever get tired of that....
• If you had a school for professional fireworks people, I don't think you could cover fuses in just one class.
  It's just too rich a subject. -- Deep Thoughts, by Jack Handey...
• If you saw two guys named Hambone and Flippy, which one would you think liked dolphins the most?
  I'd say Flippy, wouldn't you? You'd be wrong though....
• I wish I had a kryptonite cross, because then you could keep both Dracula AND Superman away.
  -- Deep Thoughts, by Jack Handey...
• I wish I could shrink down to the size of an ant. And maybe there would be thousands of other people shrunken down to ant-size
  and we would get together and dig tunnels down into the ground and live there....
• I think people tend to forget that trees are living creatures.
  They're sort of like dogs. Huge, quiet, motionless dogs, with bark instead of fur....
• I wish there was a disease where you're afraid of clouds, because I think I could cure it.
  First, you sit the patient down and have a long personal talk....
• If you're a circus clown, and you have a dog that you use in your ac
  I don't think it's a good idea to also dress the dog up like a clown, because people see that and they think, "Forgive me, but that's just too much....