Related:

• Misfortune, n.: The kind of fortune that never misses.
  -- Ambrose Bierce, The Devil's Dictionary...
• Misfortune, n.: The kind of fortune that never misses.
  -- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary...
• PREFERENCE, n. A sentiment, or frame of mind, induced by the erroneous belief that one thing is better than another.
  An ancient philosopher, expounding his conviction that life is no better than death, was asked by a disciple why, then, he did not die....
• TOMB, n. The House of Indifference. Tombs are now by common consent invested with a certain sanctity
  but when they have been long tenanted it is considered no sin to break them open and rifle them, the famous Egyptologist, Dr....
• PREDESTINATION, n. The doctrine that all things occur according to programme.
  This doctrine should not be confused with that of foreordination, which means that all things are programmed, but does not affirm their occurrence, that being only an implication from other doctrines by which this is entailed....
• DEINOTHERIUM, n. An extinct pachyderm that flourished when the Pterodactyl was in fashion.
  The latter was a native of Ireland, its name being pronounced Terry Dactyl or Peter O'Dactyl, as the man pronouncing it may chance to have heard it spoken or seen it printed....
• CONVERSATION, n. A fair to the display of the minor mental commodities, each exhibitor being too intent upon the arrangement of his own wares to observe those of his neighbor.
  -- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary...
• MAGNITUDE, n. Size. Magnitude being purely relative, nothing is large and nothing small.
  If everything in the universe were increased in bulk one thousand diameters nothing would be any larger than it was before, but if one thing remain unchanged all the others would be larger than they had been....