Related:

• An optimist stays up until midnight to see the new year in.
  A pessimist stays up to make sure the old year leaves....
• It's a classic Pinzer maneuver; it can't fail against a bunch of ten-year-olds!
  -- Herman in "Bart the General", from The Simpso...
• Homer: This barbeque will be hard, thankless work. But I'm sure you're up to it, Marge.
  Marge: Well, it could be a good chance to get to know our neighbors outside of a courtroom setting....
• If I am walking with two other men, each of them will serve as my teacher.
  I will pick out the good points of the one and imitate them, and the bad points of the other and correct them in myself....
• Steal! to be sure they may; and, egad, serve your best thoughts as gypsies do stolen children,--disfigure them to make 'em pass for their own.
  -- Richard Brinsley Sheridan (1751-1816) -- The Critic, Act i, Sc. 1...
• A man walked into a bar with his alligator and asked the bartender, "Do you serve lawyers here?
  . "Sure do," replied the bartender. "Good," said the man....
• I wish they could find a way to serve the same food on the ground that they serve on airlines, when you are up there in the sky.
  I'm looking for a way to make my dog stop begging for scraps from the table, and airline food is a sure answer....
• US/Western repression of sexual knowledge and expression has left our twelve year olds less capable to deal with sex
  and this justifies repression of sexual knowledge and expression to our twelve year olds....
• Oh, he [a big dog] hunts with papa," she said. "He says Don Carlos [the dog] is good for almost every kind of game.
  He went duck hunting one time and did real well at it....