Related:

• Homer: Oh, I need money. Apu: Well, if you need money, you should have at least jammed a gun in my ribs, or better yet, you could inquire about my help-wanted sign.
  Homer: You're looking for help? Apu: Yes, we need someone for the demanding yet high-profile midnight to 8am shift....
• I was in the store the other day and a salesperson came up to me and said, "Can I help you?
  I said, "Yea, give me what I need." She said, "I don't know what you need" I said, "You started it....
• You mean, I'm on my own? I've never been on my own.
  Oh no! On own! On own! I need help. Oh, God help me!...
• Ned: I just attacked all my friends and neighbors just for trying to help me.
  I'd like to commit myself. Nurse: Very well. Shall I show you to your room, or would you prefer to be dragged off kicking and screaming?...
• Once upon a time there was a beautiful young girl taking a stroll through the woods.
  All at once she saw an extremely ugly bull frog seated on a log and to her amazement the frog spoke to her....
• Can you help me? Are you for my brain...oh, yeah!
• Homer: I've never reached to you before but my wife is in her hour of need.
  Your help could make all the difference in the world....
• Jacques: First, you must get to know your lane. Feel the slickness, feel the slippery finish.
  Caresses it, experience it. Quite smooth, isn't it?...
• You are strong enough to admit that you need help.