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• Joey: Oh, hey, you guys are finally gonna get to meet Kate!
  All: Oh! Joey: (to Chandler) And I ah, borrowed some of your cologne....
• The only idea that ever came to me while shaving was to grow a beard. -- Jim Fiebig
• Square knot, not granny knot.
• Never question your wife's judgement; look at whom she married.
• There was a young girl named Sapphire Who succumbed to her lover's desire.
  She said, "It's a sin, But now that it's in, Could you shove it a few inches higher?...
• There was a young girl named Saphire Who succumbed to her lover's desire.
  She said, "It's a sin, But now that it's in, Could you shove it a few inches higher?...
• While revenge may consist of seducing your enemy's wife, sweet revenge is the realization that she's a lousy lay.
• While revenge may consist of seducing your enemy's wife, sweet revenge is finding out that she's a lousy lay.
• I'm shaving!! I'M SHAVING!! -- Zippy the Pinhead