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• Never fight an inanimate object. -- P. J. O'Rourke
• The deficiency will never show itself during the dry runs. -- Charles P. Boyle
• Never be unfaithful to a lover, except with your wife. -- P. J. O'Rourke
• Never wear anything that panics the cat. -- P. J. O'Rourke
• How I love C! The only language where main(){ puts("hello, world!
  ); } is equivalent to int i;main(){for(;i["]
• Never refuse wine. It is an odd but universally held opinion that anyone who doesn't drink must be an alcoholic.
  -- P. J. O'Rourke...
• ASCII art n. The fine art of drawing diagrams using the ASCII character set (mainly |, -, /, \, and +).
  Also known as `character graphics' or `ASCII graphics'...
• Canadian Alphabet:eh,b,c,d,e,f,g,h,i,j,k,l,m,n,o,p,q,r,s,t,u,v,w,x,y,z.
• Never steal anything so small that you'll have to go to an unpleasant city jail for it instead of a minimum-security federal tennis prison.
  -- P. J. O'Rourke...