Related:

• I've made it a rule never to drink by daylight and never to refuse a drink after dark.
  -- H. L. Mencke...
• Never fight an inanimate object. -- P. J. O'Rourke
• If anyone accepts my help who doesn't need it, that's his problem
  if I refuse my help to anyone who needs it, that's my problem. -- Anon....
• Never be unfaithful to a lover, except with your wife. -- P. J. O'Rourke
• Never serve oysters during a month that has no paycheck. -- P. J. O'Rourke
• Never wear anything that panics the cat. -- P. J. O'Rourke
• Despite the fact that meat is made from dead animals .
  .. almost all varieties of meat are good enough to be better than vegetables, except veal....
• Syzygy, inexorable, pancreatic, phantasmagoria--anyone who can use those four words in one sentence will never have to do manual labor.
  -- W. P. Kinsella...
• Bottle 'o wine, fruit 'o the vine ...