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• I always advise people never to give advice. -- P. G. Wodehouse
• Never put anything on paper ... and never trust a man with a small black mustache.
  -- P. G. Wodehouse...
• Butler: A solemn procession of one. -- P. G. Wodehouse
• One half of the world doesn't know how the other three-quarters lives. -- P. G. Wodehouse
• The fascination of shooting as a sport depends on whether you are at the right or the wrong end of the gun.
  -- P. G. Wodehouse...
• To be a humorist, one must see the world out of focus.
  -- P. G. Wodehouse, in the preface to "A Carnival of Modern Humo...
• It was one of those parties where you cough twice before you speak, and then decide not to say it after all.
  -- P. G. Wodehouse...
• Has anybody ever seen a drama critic in the daytime?
  Of course not! They come out after dark, up to no good. -- P. G. Wodehouse...
• Oh, it makes me sort of sad To think about Sir Galahad And all the knights of that romantic day
  To amuse a girl and charm her They would climb into their armour And jump into the fray...