Related:

• Never eat in a restaurant where there's a photo of the chef with Sammy Davis, Jr. -- "Alf
• I've fallen down and not even known it. -- Pat McCormick
• A gourmet restaurant in Cincinnati is one where you leave the tray on the table after you eat.
• If you run across a restaurant where you often see priests eating with priests, or sporting girls with sporting girls, you may be confident that it is good.
  Those are two classes of people who like to eat well and get their money's worth....
• NEVER eat children! You don't know where they've been!
• I got hit by a Volkswagen--and had to go to the hospital to have it removed. -- Pat McCormick
• I have invented rubber food for old people with time to kill. -- Pat McCormick
• Lionel Huntz tells Homer: "This is the greatest case of False Advertising I've seen since I sued the movie The Never Ending Story Episode
  Homer at the All-you-can-eat restaura...
• Never eat in a restaurant that's over a hundred feet off the ground and won't stand still.
  -- Calvin Trilli...