Related:

• I got hit by a Volkswagen--and had to go to the hospital to have it removed. -- Pat McCormick
• I've fallen down and not even known it. -- Pat McCormick
• At the retirement center for senior citizens, Wrinkle City, if everyone happens to smile at once it's automatically declared Halloween.
  The residents are so elderly it's considered a good deed for a Boy Scout to help an old lady cross her legs....
• I am proud of the fact that I never invented weapons to kill. EDISON
• Never eat in a restaurant where you see a cockroach bench-pressing a burrito. -- Pat McCormick
• The nineteenth century was a time of many great inventions and thoughts.
  The invention of the steamboat caused a network of rivers to spring up....
• Better to kill time than have it kill you. -- Karl
• Rubber bands have snappy endings!