Related:

• My wife--God bless her--was in labor for thirty-two hours.
  And I was faithful to her the entire time. -- Jonathan Katz...
• Growing up, I was a little guy. My father enrolled me in a local martial arts academy.
  So once a week I got beat up in a more formal setting. -- Jonathan Katz...
• We have enough religion to make us hate, but not enough to make us love one another.
  -- Jonathan Swift (1667-1745)...
• Lisa: Well, where's my Dad? Frink: Well, it should be obvious to even the most dim-witted individual who holds an advanced degree in hyperbolic topology
  'gee, that Homer Simpson has stumbled into...[the lights go off] the third dimension....
• I Am in Love with You Most of the Time, but Don't Bother Me When I'm with My Friends.
  ' -- Titles of the love ballads you can sing to your beloved -- Bob, age 9...
• Stampy trumpets] Homer: What's he yelling about? Lisa
  He's hungry. Here you go Stampy: [holds a platter] eat it slow....
• My love is like an iron wand That conks me on the head, My love is like the valium That I take before my bed, My love is like the pint of scotch That I drink when I be dry
  And I shall love thee still, my dear, Until my wife is wise. -- Love's Drug...
• Love's Drug My love is like an iron wand That conks me on the head
  My love is like the valium That I take before my bed, My love is like the pint of scotch That I drink when I be dry...