Related:

• I B M U B M We all B M For I B M!!!! -- H.A.R.L.I.E.
• I plugged my phone in where the blender used to be.
  I called someone. They went "Aaaaahhhh..." -- Steven Wrigh...
• I had my coathangers spayed. -- Steven Wrigh
• Homer: Woo-hoo! I'm a college man! I won't need my high school diploma any more!
  [sets fire to it and starts singing] I am so smart!...
• I used to live in a house by the freeway. When I went anywhere, I had to be going 65 MPH by the end of my driveway.
  -- Steven Wrigh...
• I used to be a bartender at the Betty Ford Clinic. -- Steven Wrigh
• Now it's time to say goodbye To all our company... M-I-C (see you next week!
  ) K-E-Y (Why? Because we LIKE you!) M-O-U-S-E....
• When I was little, my grandfather used to make me stand in a closet for five minutes without moving.
  He said it was elevator practice. -- Steven Wrigh...
• I was trying to daydream, but my mind kept wandering. -- Steven Wrigh