Related:

• I like to torture my plants by watering them with ice cubes.
• My neighbors have been known to be overly friendly, particularly on the day when I am moving.
• One time the power went out in my house and I had to use the flash on my camera to see my way around.
  I made a sandwich and took fifty pictures of my face....
• Well you can tell by the way I use my walk I'm a woman's man--no time to talk. -- Barry Gibb
• In my hot youth, when George the Third was king.
  -- Lord Byron (1788-1824) -- Don Juan, Canto i, Stanza 212...
• First Bush invades my home turf, then he takes my pals, then he makes fun of the way I talk -- probably -- now he steals my right to raise a disobedient, smart-alecky son!
  Well, that's it! -- Homer Simpson Two Bad Neighbo...
• When I was 10, my pa told me never to talk to strangers... We haven't spoken since.
• I use windows...on my car, on my house, but not on my computer!
• I have bad luck with plants. I bought me a philodendron .
  .. and I put it in the kitchen and it drank my soup. -- Joan Rive...